It’s already half a year ago but I still want to share it. In the summer holiday last year we have been in Denmark. We have visited my host family and I have shown my biological family a lot of the spots I used to go to in my exchange year. On our last day we passed the border and came to Flensburg. And then it happened. The german culture was a stranger to me. I was confused. Everything was loud and new. I needed a calm spot but I couln’t find one until we got to our hostel for the night. My parents went shopping and my little brother was outside playing table tennis. So I was alone in the room, took a shower and then called some friends. I started to cry. I felt kinda homeless. My own body seemed strange to me. It is very hard to describe the feeling. It took some days in my hometown until I felt normal again. I had not experienced a culture shock in my exchange year and neither a reverse culture shock until one year later. I didn’t know that it could happen so late.

I think I have to tell how I feel now.

So when I came back home it wasn’t easy. At first I have spoken only English. I cried a lot in the first days. It was hard to know, that a big part of my life is over now. I had to speak German again. I had to find my place in my biological family. It is harder than I thought. I have changed, they have changed. And I had one of the best years in my whole life. Every day abroad was so special. Waking up and getting ready for a school, where you don’t even understand everything. You learn something new about the culture nearly every day. AND you are responsible for everything you do.

Than you come back home. The people are living their everyday life. They just lived the last year. The year wasn’t as special to them as it was to you. And that’s why they’re asking questions. One question I have heard a lot of times is: ‚How was it?‘ But tell me, how do I describe on year in a few sentences. And when you start talking about your year (because it was so special) the people get bored after a while, maybe because they don’t understand. The first time back in Germany was exciting. I found out new things about Germany. I looked for differences and similarities between Denmark and Germany. But after about 8 week I got bored. There was nothing special about my life anymore. Every day was like I have known it my whole life. It was so different to my days in Denmark and I had the feeling that Denmark has been much better. It was getting harder and harder to get up every day to go to school and do more boring things. I wasn’t feeling like going to school, meeting friends or even read a book. I basically was in my bed sleeping or starring at the ceiling. Every time my parents asked me to do something together with them I was getting annoyed. I couldn’t understand my self. My life was boring. If I have to describe it with coulours I would say my life was just grey. Then I stopped talking to my friends. But I have one friend and she was looking for me. She tried to help me. So eventually I went to a psychologist and now I can see the light again.

My life isn’t grey. It is exciting just in another way. I am travelling to find my self. I want to know who am I and what I want. It won’t be easy but with the help of my family, my friends and also strangers I will get it. And I will never regret the Experience I have gotten through my Exchange year.

The first students had to leave at 1 o’clock in the morning. The party ended at 4 o’clock and my bus should leave at 6 o’clock. It left first at 7.15 but I still slept only nne hour. I already packed my stuff yesterday so that was no problem. Then we took the bus to Berlin Mainstation and hat to say goodbye to all of our new friends. Now I am back in Germany.

Today it was with 24 degrees not that warm. In the morning and in the evening we have a daily show. Today in the morning it took very long so we didn’t have enough time for our next session. Our arts track was really good today. Today is the reason why I chose arts. In the evening we had the closing ceremony and a talent show. Afterwards the party started.

We had more sessions today with 38 degrees in the shade. In the afternoon I chilled with a friend in the forrest. Our art session was a little bit more art-likely today than yesterday. One thing I really like is, that we are speaking so much languages and we are so many cultures. And nearly everyone is saying something like: here, in Denmark/Sweden/Germany/Bulgaria/Hungary/…, so it is really international ground here right now.

We got up at 7 and got some breakfast. Afterwards we saw the daily show. There the volunteers playing some sketches about our topic (Breaking through walls). We started with a session with people of our home country and later we had sessions about a track we chose. I chose arts. We had a lot of freetime with some quite nice activities. It is so hot here so we are going to the beach a lot. Now I am going to bed.

We got up at 5 o’clock in the morning. We took the bus to Copenhagen, then we flew to Berlin and took the bus to Berlin- Werbellinsee. The YES started with an opening ceremony and instructions for the time here. In the evening I went to bed early.

In the morning we went to the YFU house. There we had lunch and took pictures with our hostfamilies. Afterwards we had to say Goodbye to them. The afternoon we spent in company with the exchange students and after dinner we went to bed.

Today was my last full day with my hostfamily. Tomorrow I will say goodbye. It is already so emotional. It is one of the hardest things I can remember.

I nearly finished with getting my clothes into my suitcase. In the evening my hostfamily and me went to a restaurant and I got Odense’s best spareribs. That was a little highlight.